


binary code

by segs



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Black Mirror AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:45:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/segs/pseuds/segs
Summary: The System has been found to provide an ultimate match in 99.8% of cases. Failure to comply with The System may result in Banishment.





	binary code

**Author's Note:**

> so this... got away from me... quite a bit.  
> i started writing and just did not stop for oh, uh, 7 hours?  
> this was mostly a practice in world-building, although i do not claim to have built this world. i loved this idea when i first saw it in the black mirror episode "hang the DJ" and i thought i'd do some kind of spin on it. hopefully, you won't need to watch that episode to understand this. that's the idea, anyway.  
> please bear with me, this sort of spiraled out of my control for a while, but i still figured i should post it.

_CALIBRATING…_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_CALIBRATING…_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_I have identified you as: SIDNEY PATRICK CROSBY, 26 YEAR OLD MALE, 5”11, 200 POUNDS._

 

_Please be advised that it is against sect law to attempt to sign up for The System for anyone other than yourself. If you are found to be in possession of a Coach that is not calibrated to your chip, the proper local authorities are to be notified, and you may face Banishment. Do you understand?_

 

_…_

 

_…_

 

_Excellent. Please wait while I search for your first match._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_CALIBRATING…_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_CALIBRATING…_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_I have identified you as: CLAUDE DARI GIROUX, 25 YEAR OLD MALE, 5”11, 172 POUNDS._

 

_Please be advised that it is against sect law to attempt to sign up for The System for anyone other than yourself. If you are found to be in possession of a Coach that is not calibrated to your chip, the proper local authorities are to be notified, and you may face Banishment. Do you understand?_

 

_…_

 

_…_

 

_Excellent. Please wait while I search for your first match._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_________________________________________________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


1.

 

“Eight… eight hours?”

 

The fluorescent bulb over the table has heat coming off it in waves. Sid tugs at his collar and hopes his pits aren’t sweating. “Uh, yeah, eight. Mine says eight.”

 

Olivia smiles at him, half-awkwardly, apologetically. “Well, that’s not very long at all.”

 

“No,” Sid agrees. Why is she looking at him like that? “No, yeah, it’s.” He clears his throat. “Yeah.”

 

She’d been given a salad and she picks at it absently. Are they really supposed to—

 

“You know, we don’t have to, like, sleep together.”

 

Sid makes eye contact for what feels like the first time tonight. He swallows soundly. “No?”

 

“I mean, have you always…” She tilts her head at him. “How many relationships before this one?”

 

“Uh, three. Just three.”

 

She makes a sucking noise with her teeth. God, Sid hates it when people do that. He thought Coach would know that. “You’re handsome. I wouldn’t mind. But.” She shrugs halfheartedly. “Eight hours.”

 

“What do you think they want us to learn from this?” he asks her, and surprises himself by asking. It’s not like he’ll see her again after this.

 

Olivia smiles at the question but won’t really meet his eyes. “I don’t know. What it’s like to go out with someone who isn’t interested?”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.”

 

“It’s not you.”

 

“I know it isn’t.” She laughs at him now. “This is my sixteenth. Coach gets a lot of things wrong. It’s okay.”

 

Sid sinks back into his seat. He doesn’t say it aloud, but he really thought that Coach knew that he was gay. His first had been a man. Thirty-four hours. They’d barely left the bed, and when time was up, Sid had to drag the both of them out the door with seconds left on the clock. Now this.

 

It’s not that she isn’t pretty. Slender, tall, almond-shaped green eyes, and the hair. She’s got orange hair that curls towards the end. At least Coach got that part right.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


96.

 

Claude flips him onto his back and mouths along his collarbone, intense in the way that he gets between the sheets, and Sid swears he isn’t thinking about it.

 

The ceiling is an off-white. Sid blinks up at it and counts his breaths. Inhale, exhale. “I want you inside me.”

 

“Fuck,” Claude says sincerely. He starts pushing in so slowly that it makes Sid ache and whine.

 

He’s not thinking about it.

 

Claude buries himself to the hilt. He’s almost shaking. Sid should look him in the eyes, but he can’t, doesn’t want to think about what he’ll see there. The sun is dying outside, the room awash in saturated orange and pink. Sid wants to cry, feels a sob at the bottom of his throat.

 

“Hey, hey.”

 

Sid finally looks at him and Claude’s hand comes up to cup his cheek. The single gesture is so sweet and warm and familiar that it physically hurts. Sid’s own hand clutches at his wrist. He turns to bury his nose into Claude’s palm. “I’m thinking about it.”

 

Claude kisses him wherever he can reach, his forehead, his eyelids, the high points of his cheeks, the corner of his lips. “I know. Me too.”

 

Sid turns his head enough to see his Coach on the bedside table. The numbers have dropped down to double-digits. A surge of anger and frustration bubbles up inside of him. “It doesn’t make any sense. What was it supposed to learn from this?”

 

Two years. Some of the happiest days of Sid’s life. Morning coffees and pond hockey in the wintertime and kisses and bad jokes. What was it supposed to learn? It felt so…

 

In its detached voice, his Coach says, _Everything happens for a reason._

 

Claude is still inside him, but won’t move. He pushes his face into the crook between Sidney’s shoulder and neck, and they count down the minutes together.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


173.

 

Sid makes a slapshot that doesn’t even come close to hitting the net, sailing right over the crossbar and thudding along the boards. He taps his stick on the ice, all frustrated energy.

 

“Are you sure, though?” he asks again.

 

_The System is designed to be sure about each match._

 

“How do you know he wasn’t it?” He whiffs on a shot. “I felt like we connected. I liked him.”

 

_The System gains insight as each participant progresses through numerous relationships. The data I have gathered from your brief encounter will help me find your ultimate compatible other. This may take some time._

 

Sid gives up and throws his stick to the ice. “I know, I know. But you didn’t give me any time to find out. I mean, nine hours?”

 

_It is not up to you to find out. That is why I am your Coach._

 

“But he liked hockey. You know how hard it is to find someone in this sect who likes hockey?”

 

_Your ultimate compatible other is likely to enjoy ice hockey._

 

“I liked him,” Sid says, though it’s mostly to himself. “Doesn’t that mean anything?”

 

_Everything happens for a reason, Sidney._

 

Sid puts Coach on mute.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**It Really Does Work: Local Sect 17 Couple Share Their Faith in The System**  
_Andrew Dermott and Lisa Kennedy’s pairing day was just six weeks ago, and they’re already confident in The System’s process._

00110001 00110010 00101111 00110001 00110111 00101111  
by _Garrett Hall, Contributor_

 

 **SECT 17—** Their story sounds just like many others. Andrew Dermott, 30, was approaching the end of his five-year deadline to sign up for The System. It’s not totally uncommon for people to wait until their final year to calibrate their Coach; in fact, certain sects swear by it, claiming that the extra five years give the Coach a more whole assessment of their identity.

 

Andrew’s reason’s weren’t quite so complicated. “I was lazy,” he admitted. “I’ll be honest! When my Coach arrived, I thought, ‘yeah, I’ll get to that later.’ I stuffed it inside my closet and totally forgot about it until last year when I got my reminder letter in the mail.”

 

On the other hand, Lisa Kennedy, 26, calibrated her Coach the very first day it was delivered to her. “I could hardly wait,” she confessed. “You know, I saw my friends and how happy they were and I couldn’t help but want that for myself.”

 

By now, people across the sects have a thorough understanding of how The System works. Through a series of numerous relationships with various types of people spanning over a certain amount of time, your personal Coach gathers data from your experiences and uses the information to select an ‘ultimate compatible other.’ In some sects, this is referred to as a ‘soulmate.’

 

It’s easy to feel discouraged in the beginning; many people have the same experience. Perhaps you feel you found your perfect match, but your expiry date says otherwise. Or, even worse: you’re stuck with someone you dislike for years. Those situations are common, and criticisms of The System stem from people who have been stuck in these types of relationships for longer than the intended amount of time.

 

“I did spend a lot of time wondering what the point of it all was,” Lisa said. “Sometimes I felt The System was purposefully mocking me.”

 

“Of course, there was nothing worse than sitting down across the table from someone and you just knew you weren’t going to be a fit, but then you check the expiry and boom: six months,” Andrew laughed. “You find yourself asking your Coach over and over again: why?”

 

The “why?” is an interesting question, with an equally complicated answer.

 

“The System is intricately designed to calibrate itself to an infinite amount of variables and possibilities,” said developer Oliver Haynes. “For some people, it’s easy, and their pairing day may be months or even weeks after their initial calibration. For others, it needs more time.”

 

Your Coach may learn many things from your failed relationships; it may discover a pet peeve you didn’t know you had, a sexual preference you hadn’t yet discovered. This information is invaluable to The System’s success, and succeed it does: as of the last census, The System has been found to provide an ultimate match in 99.8% of cases.

 

“You always worry if you’re going to be in that 0.2%,” said Lisa, laughing. “I mean, I know I did!”

 

“When Coach told me it was pairing day, I was nervous,” Andrew admitted. “Don’t we all get nervous on our pairing days? I was like, ‘what if I hate her? What if they got it wrong?’”

 

Did they get it wrong?

 

“No,” Lisa said firmly. “I saw him, and it was instant.”

 

“Like a lightbulb formed over my head,” Andrew agreed. “You know what the Coach always said to me? ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ I believe that now.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


257.

 

Up on the podium, a mousy-looking girl with big eyes opines, “Do not lose faith! It really does work!”

 

Claude hates these events. Beside him, Francis is tearing up, her cheeks going all red and blotchy like they always do before she’s about to cry. He knows she can’t help it, but it’s just another thing to add to his list of reasons why he’s glad their expiry date is coming up.

 

Still, he pats her back encouragingly and she turns to smile at him; still weepy, but there’s dislike in her eyes too. Okay, fine. This is not the best relationship she’s had. At least they both know it.

 

The gazebo is crowded with participants, the air hot and stifling. Claude would give anything to leave early, but Francis is already weaving through the throngs of people to talk to the couple who just left the podium. So much for that.

 

Claude can’t help himself and pulls his Coach out of his pocket. One week and four days. He can narrow that down to hours real quickly.

 

“Claude?”

 

He looks up, half-guilty like someone will see what he was doing, but it’s just…

 

“Sid. Holy shit.”

 

Sid looks good, good like he did the last time Claude saw him, but better because it’s been so long. His black hair looks freshly-cut. He shaved for the event. Of course he did.

 

“How long has it been?” Sid asks, and he smiles big. “Two, three relationships ago?”

 

Claude doesn’t know why Sid measures time in relationships. “Eight months,” he says, and doesn’t pretend that he hasn’t been counting the time in his head. “And that was only one relationship ago, you dick.”

 

Sid laughs at him. “You always said you only got a couple months out of your relationships, so I figured…”

 

“How many for you?”

 

Pink floods the apples of Sid’s cheeks. “Five.”

 

Now it’s Claude’s turn to laugh. “Your Coach has determined you’re kind of a slut?”

 

“Hey, The System makes no moral judgments.”

 

All Claude wants to do is get him somewhere no one can see them and get so deep inside of him he leaves a part of himself there. They hadn’t had enough time. There was so much Claude still wanted to know about Sid by the time their expiration came, but there weren’t enough hours in the two weeks they were given, and when their clocks ticked to zero, Claude felt himself aching for it.

 

“Are you here with…” Sid starts, then stops. “Well, you’d have to be.”

 

“Yeah. Uh, yeah. Francis is her name.” Claude scans the crowd looking for her blonde hair, but no luck.

 

Sid nods awkwardly. “Yeah, me too. Paul.”

 

“Terrible name.”

 

Sid laughs. “What, Paul? How is that a terrible name?”

 

“I don’t know. It’s just, like… _Paul._ ” Claude shrugs. “It’s boring. I bet he’s an accountant or a financial advisor or something like that.”

 

Sid scoffs, but he doesn’t look offended. Claude can only guess there isn’t much time left until their expiry. “You think everyone is boring. You told me _I_ was boring.”

 

“You _are_ boring,” Claude agrees, and Sid laughs again at that, the tips of his ears going red. “But I liked your brand of boring. You could still have fun.”

 

“I have fun with Paul,” Sid says.

 

“Yeah?” Claude clears his throat. “Same kind of fun?”

 

Sid swallows and opens his mouth to respond, but he spots Francis before Claude does as she shoves into view. Claude’s whole face feels hot like he’s embarrassed or ashamed and he can’t pinpoint why. She grabs onto his arm and smiles, facing Sid. “Hey, who’s this?”

 

“Sidney,” Claude answers for him. “We met, ah, a few relationships ago.”

 

Francis doesn’t look remotely fazed. She probably doesn’t care; she mentally checked out after the first month. “Nice to meet you.”

 

Sid reaches out to shake her hand and Claude tries to remember how to be normal. He kisses Francis on her temple and she smiles politely if awkwardly and asks, “Are we heading out now?”

 

“Sure, of course.” Claude looks up at Sid, can’t even really meet his gaze. “Good seeing you again.”

 

Sid blinks at him. “Yeah. I’ll see you?” He frames it like a question. Like they have much of a choice.

 

“Yeah, you will,” Claude promises, like he has any say in the matter. Like any of them do. “Of course you will.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


302.

 

“Uh, Sidney? Sidney Crosby?”

 

The man at the table gets up awkwardly and shakes Claude’s hand. “You can call me Sid. Sid is fine.”

 

“Okay. Okay, cool.” After a beat, Claude adds, “I’m Claude.”

 

“Yeah, Coach told me.”

 

“Right. Of course.”

 

Sid looks nice enough, and he dressed like he cared to make a good impression, which is endearing in a way Claude didn’t expect. He looks nervous. At least they both are.

 

“Is this your first relationship?” Claude asks, and he doesn’t know what he wants the answer to be.

 

“Yeah, it is.” Sid clears his throat. “Yours?”

 

Claude deflates immediately. That was definitely the answer he wanted. “Holy shit. I was worried you were going to be some kind of veteran, and I was going to look like an idiot.”

 

Sid grins and instantly looks more comfortable. “Do you think Coach always pairs first-timers?”

 

“I have _no_ idea,” Claude admits. “I guess we could just ask.”

 

_The System does not typically make matches based on length of participation._

 

Sid glances down at his Coach, clearly not expecting it to jump in like that. “Well, thanks,” he laughs, and Claude can’t help but laugh with him.

 

_You are welcome. Would you like to check your expiration date now?_

 

Sid blinks up at Claude. “I mean. Up to you?”

 

“Uh,” Claude says eloquently. “We have to do it eventually, right? Might as well know now?” He reaches for his own Coach. “You could be stuck with me for years. You never know until you know.”

 

Sid leans back into his seat. “I don’t think that’d be the worst thing in the world.”

 

“Of course not. I could be a woman.”

 

Sid snorts at that, this obnoxious laugh that Claude somehow likes. “You know what Coach said to me when I calibrated it? ‘Sexual preference: likely homosexual.’”

 

“ _Likely_?”

 

“That’s exactly what I thought. What made it _likely_ and not _definitely_?”

 

Sid’s Coach says, _The System gathers data from your chip. I will continue to gather more information about your sexual preference as you progress through your relationships._ _Would you still like to check your expiration date?_

 

“If you still want to?” Sid asks, and Claude nods.

 

“Okay, on three…”

 

Sid counts down and Claude presses his thumb into the center of the screen.

 

**_14:00:00 … 13:59:59 … 13:59:58 …_ **

 

Their eyes find each other. Claude hums a little under his breath. “Huh.”

 

Sid swallows uncomfortably. “That’s definitely not years.”

 

“Guess not.”

 

Claude doesn’t know why he feels disappointed.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


465.

 

Claude is just getting out of the shower when his Coach chimes from where he left it on the kitchen counter, an incessant high-pitched ring that repeats itself every second Claude lags to answer it. Another relationship, likely. Claude drags his feet.

 

“Yeah, Coach?”

 

_Congratulations Claude. Your ultimate match has been identified. Your pairing day is tomorrow._

 

Claude blinks dumbly down at the device. That’s not what he’d been expecting. “What?”

 

_Which part confuses you?_

 

“This is my ‘ultimate compatible other?’” Claude asks slowly.

 

_That is correct._

 

Claude stares at absolutely nothing. “I’m meeting them tomorrow? Already?”

 

_That is correct. You have been using The System for two years and four months now._

 

“I know that, but…” It still felt like it was too soon. “Do you know who they are? What their name is?”

 

_I know all there is to know about your ultimate compatible other._

 

“Can you tell me anything?”

 

_Negative. Tomorrow you will be paired with your ultimate match and together you will leave this place forever._

 

Claude has half a mind to throw Coach into the trash. He grips it tight enough in his hands that he imagines smashing it into pieces. It wouldn’t get him anywhere except for Banishment, but he thinks about it often enough.

 

_There is one more thing._

 

Claude almost rolls his eyes. “Yeah, Coach?”

 

_Prior to pairing day, you have been allocated a short farewell period with an individual of your choosing._

 

Claude stops in his tracks at that. “A farewell period,” he repeats, mostly to himself. “With anyone I want? Any past relationships, all of that? I can say goodbye?”

 

_That is correct. Data shows this can help provide psychological closure._

 

Psychological closure. Claude wants to laugh at that. It’s almost all he thinks about. Black hair, freckles on his shoulder, a scar just below the nape of his neck. Crooked jaw, stupid laugh. Claude hasn’t seen him since… the time blurs together.

 

“Sid.” Claude can hardly breathe. “That’s who I want, Sid.”

 

_You are selecting SIDNEY CROSBY. Is that correct?_

 

“Jesus, of course it is. Of course it’s Sid.”

 

_Your choice has been registered._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_WELCOME TO THE SYSTEM_ **

 

The System is an intuitive technological advancement that is designed to calibrate to your identity and, based on an algorithm that accounts for an infinite number of variables, will eventually find your ultimate match. Since its introduction in 01101010 01110101 01101100 01111001 00100000 00110010 00110001 00110010 00110010, The System has used this algorithm to find a perfect match for 99.8% of participants. In most sects, it is required by law to have your chip implanted before the age of 7 YEARS OLD, and to calibrate your personal Coach in between the ages of 25 and 30 YEARS OLD.

 

To begin with calibration, follow the instructions below.

 

  1. Connect your Coach to a power source.
  2. Once activated, hold the Coach’s sensor two inches above the skin where your chip is implanted. If you do not recall where your chip was implanted, you may activate the scan function located on the setup menu. Your device is designed to follow the magnetic source of your chip. Please wait while your Coach identifies the location of the source.
  3. Please say or enter your binary number.
  4. Wait patiently while your Coach calibrates to your chip. This may take a few moments.
  5. Complete and sign the waiver form that came with your Coach. If you have any questions, please call 00110010 00110011 00101101 00110001 00101101 00110010 00110011, or notify your sect’s local law enforcement.



 

You are now one step closer to finding your ultimate compatible other. Failure to comply with The System may result in Banishment. For more information on this law, please refer to pg. 12 of this manual.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


529.

 

The first words out of Claude’s mouth are, “Holy shit.”

 

Sid stops in his tracks and stares, taking him in. He cut his hair short. He’s dressed nice, like he took his time. He looks the same otherwise, missing the tooth on the right side. “Is this a mistake?”

 

“God, I hope not,” Claude laughs, half-breathlessly. “I didn’t think The System paired people twice.”

 

“I wonder what it learned about us, then. That we’re creatures of habit.” Sid sits down across from him at the table and a warm sensation spreads all through his fingertips. “You couldn’t stop thinking about me so your Coach was like, ‘ugh, fine.’”

 

Claude grins at him. “You wish that were the reason. Maybe we’re just compatible.”

 

“That couldn’t be it.”

 

“Of course not.”

 

Sid pulls out his Coach and Claude rolls his eyes, as if he already knows what he’s going to say. “Coach, is this a mistake?”

 

_This is not a mistake._

 

Claude leans in close. “Are we compatible?”

 

_I’m sorry, I cannot answer that question._

 

“Useless,” Claude mutters. “Well, maybe now you’re stuck with me for a little bit longer than twelve hours.”

 

“Those were a good twelve hours,” Sid offers, and he’s not lying. They’d felt comfortable. They never ran out of things to talk about, like they’d met before in another life. “I did think about you a lot afterwards.”

 

“Yeah?” Claude asks, almost whispering. “I’ve thought about you a lot. Especially lately. You know, they paired me with this girl, the most boring person I’ve ever met in my life, for a whole fucking year. It was torture. I was so miserable.”

 

Sid takes in the sight of him, almost like he’s afraid that he’ll go away if he doesn’t commit each part of him to memory. “You look good, though.”

 

Claude eyes him for a long moment. “Are you hungry?”

 

“No,” Sid admits.

 

Claude breathes out a sigh of relief. “Me neither. Let’s get out of here.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


612.

 

“Coach, why have they all been like that?”

 

_I will need you to be a little bit more specific._

 

“Thirty-six hours. Twelve hours. Nine hours. All we do is eat dinner and have sex and I don’t see how this is helping you at all. I don’t understand what you’re supposed to be learning from this.”

 

_I gather data from each of your brief encounters and will use the information to—_

 

“You keep saying that.” Sid rolls over, pushing his face into his pillow. He wants to scream, he wants to cry, he doesn’t know which. “I just don’t know what you could possibly be learning from this. It’s miserable.”

 

_Your feelings of misery are helping me to shape a profile of your ultimate match._

 

“That’s so _bleak_.”

 

_I am sorry you feel that way, Sidney._

 

Sid rolls onto his back now, staring up at the ceiling. “What about Claude?”

 

_Do you mean CLAUDE GIROUX?_

 

“Yeah,” Sidney breathes out, closing his eyes. It was only a few days, but Sid liked his quick wit, his warmth, the way he laughed easily. It’s not like he thought it would last any longer than it did, but they didn’t have any time. Sid wanted to know more. “I liked him. I wouldn’t mind seeing him again.”

 

 _The System_ _did not find him to be a compatible match for you._

 

“I know.” Sid sighs. “I know that.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


742.

 

“Fuck. Jesus Christ.”

 

Claude laughs at him, openly and without shame, mouthing along his stomach and kissing his way up his chest until their mouths find each other, and it’s hot and sweet and perfect. Sid’s heart is still in his throat, his thoughts slow and heavy from coming.

 

Claude breaks the kiss, traces Sid’s lips with his thumb, whispers, “Do you taste yourself?”

 

“Yeah.” It’s weird, not really good or bad, but it makes him flush and he guesses that’s all Claude was after. “You’re sick.”

 

“Nah,” Claude laughs. “Or we’re both sick.”

 

Sid pushes his face into Claude’s chest and rolls them both over easily. “It’s definitely you.”

 

“Okay, fine. I’m okay with that if you are.”

 

Of course Sid’s okay with it. He kisses him again just to make him sure of it, and Claude’s hands come up to grip onto his hair, fingernails scraping along his scalp. Some days they barely get out of bed. Some days they don’t even pretend to want to.

 

“You know, sometimes I don’t even wonder,” Claude says, and he whispers it like a secret. “Sometimes I don’t even care to know.”

 

Sid kisses along his neck, closes his eyes. “I know. We don’t have to look. Not if you don’t want to.”

 

“Do you?” Claude pulls back far enough to meet his gaze. “Want to, I mean.”

 

Sid hesitates. “I’m happy,” he says. “That’s enough for me.”

 

“Yeah,” Claude mumbles, not even trying to hide the relief in his voice, half-shaking with it. “Yeah, me too.” _We’ll have to eventually_ , he doesn’t say, but Sid hears it anyway. Everyone has an expiration date. Better to make each moment feel like the last one.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


__________

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Are people really as happy as they say they are? Think about it, just for a second. The System was introduced in 01101010 01110101 01101100 01111001 00100000 00110010 00110001 00110010 00110010, and since then it’s become law. Not just socially the norm, but a _legal_ requirement. What makes The System so perfect that it is now a _law_? No, I’m serious. I’m not even joking anymore.

 

You want to know my theory? The System is utter bullshit. It’s fake. It’s made up.

 

Unfollow me, I don’t care. I know you’re going to say that you found you ultimate match and you guys are super happy together or whatever, and that’s fine. I support that. Everyone wants to be in love, right? That’s all we want. That’s why The System was so appealing in the first place. Some sects have held out, but lawmakers are making it increasingly hard to imagine a future where failing to use The System it won’t be punishable by Banishment everywhere. And it’s bullshit.

 

Here’s my theory. Say what you want about it. I think it’s bullshit. We get this chip implanted into us before we’re old enough to even know what’s going on. I don’t even remember getting mine. They tell us that when we turn 25, this chip will have collected enough data about our identities to tell our life stories, our experiences and everything. Then we calibrate this chip with this glorified frisbee and our Coach absorbs it all and says, “Great! Now I know enough about you to find you the person you’re meant to be with forever.”

 

So it sends us on these “relationships,” one after another. And some of them are just fucking horrible. Let’s be honest. You ever get stuck in a relationship with someone you loathe? I mean, they hate you too! You guys fucking hate each other. Can’t even stand being in the same room as each other. But you look down at your Coach and beg for an explanation and you know what it says? “Everything happens for a reason.” So just be miserable, I guess? It needs to learn from how miserable you are. Obviously.

 

The System does this for years. It wears you down. You meet someone you instantly connect with and your Coach says, “Nope. Not this one.” You want to know more about this person that you will never see again. You’re forced to walk away from happiness. Then they make you dive headfirst into misery and tell you to be grateful. I mean, it’s exhausting. I did it for three years. That’s longer than a lot of people. It’s physically exhausting.

 

Then, finally, it pairs you with your ultimate match. This person could be literally anyone. You walk into the room on your pairing day and you see this other person and you’re like hey, you seem nice, whatever. Let’s be together for literally the rest of our lives because The System says we should. By that point, you’re so tired of it all that you’re willing to settle. That’s the truth.

 

So what is this algorithm? What does it actually mean? Can anyone prove that it works? We’re likely just being brainwashed, and at this point, do we even have the energy to care?

 

I found my ultimate match. I did. She’s a lovely woman. I have no issue spending the rest of my life with her. But I could have come to that conclusion on my own, couldn’t I?

 

Look, I’m not saying you can’t be happy with what The System chose. But why did The System _need_ to choose it? Why couldn’t you find out for your own? You could’ve been happy with anyone, but you were told it had to be this one person. Why is that? Where’s our free agency?

 

That’s all I’m saying. Say what you will, but why don’t we get a choice?

— Josh Mason, _freethinkr.wordpress.com_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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834.

 

It’s late, and Claude shouldn’t even be awake, shouldn’t even be considering the thing he’s about to do but he’s weak and tired and he doesn’t know any better. Sid’s asleep. Claude had been watching him for a bit, but the ache in his chest yawned larger and larger like a cavern, and he couldn’t stand to anymore. He has to know. Maybe that makes him a coward.

 

“Coach?”

 

_Yes, Claude?_

 

He hesitates. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He promised Sid he wouldn’t look, promised him that it didn’t matter, but how could they pretend it doesn’t matter? It’s _everything._

 

“I need to know,” he says finally, keeping his voice down. “I need to know the expiry.”

 

The device does nothing for a few moments. Claude half-imagines it setting off some kind of alarm, something that’ll wake Sid up and clue him in on what Claude is about to do, but after a moment, it simply displays the unlock screen. Like it’s just that easy to ask.

 

_Both parties must tap at the same time._

 

“What happens if I look and he doesn’t?”

 

_I cannot determine the outcome of a one-sided observation._

 

Claude thinks that he loves him. That’s the thing. That’s the scary part. He thinks he could spend the rest of his life in and out of bed, sleepy tea by the fire, he could do a pair of dogs and Sunday brunches, he could do all those things with Sid for as long as he lived. He’d be happy. He knows he would be.

 

But how long do they have? Weeks? Days? Hours? How could they pretend not to have hot death on their heels?

 

Claude takes a breath and presses his thumbprint into the screen.

 

**_4 YEARS_ **

 

There.

 

He could do that. He could—

 

_RECALIBRATING…_

 

Claude’s heart sinks into his stomach like a stone. “Wait. Wait, Coach, what is this?”

 

_One-sided observation has destabilized the expiration date._

 

**_2 YEARS_ **

 

“What the fuck?” Claude taps repeatedly at his screen, but nothing changes. “Coach, you didn’t tell me that would happen. You didn’t tell me.”

 

_RECALIBRATING…_

 

“Coach, what the _fuck_? You didn’t—I didn’t know—”

 

**_16 MONTHS_ **

 

Claude’s whole face goes hot then cold. He wants to scream, he wants to cry, he wants to throw his Coach right onto the concrete and watch it splinter to pieces.

 

_RECALIBRATING…_

 

“Coach, please, please for fuck’s sake, please make it stop, I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to.”

 

_One-sided observation has destabilized the expiration date._

 

**_5 MONTHS_ **

 

“That’s not enough time,” Claude says, and feels himself start to cry, stupidly as if that would solve anything. “Coach, we had so much time, that’s not enough—”

 

_RECALIBRATING…_

 

**_2 MONTHS_ **

 

“How can I stop this? Please tell me. Please tell me.”

 

_RECALIBRATING…_

 

“Please tell me how to stop this. Please, Coach, that’s not enough time, I thought we would have more time. Please tell me—”

 

_I am sorry. I cannot stop this._

 

**_3 WEEKS_ **

 

_RECALIBRATING…_

 

**_6 DAYS_ **

 

_RECALIBRATING…_

 

**_22:00:00 … 21:59:59 … 21:59:58 …_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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923.

 

**_00:04:57 … 00:04:56 …_ **

 

“So we really do just have to stand here?” Claude asks, squinting up at the overcast sky. “Will the police come running if I get in my car two minutes early?”

 

“I guess we shouldn’t try to find out.” Sid’s hair is still sticking up in some places, his neck still flushed. They never should have left the bed.

 

Claude nearly rolls his eyes. “What, you think they’d Banish me over a couple minutes?”

 

“Are you that desperate to get away from me?” Sid asks, but he’s smiling like he knows better. “Off to the next relationship, your ultimate match, all of that.”

 

Claude eyes him curiously. “You ever wonder if The System is just playing with us?”

 

Sid shrugs a little. “I think we all wonder that. That’s what I read, anyway. Everyone always wonders if it’s worth it, but they decide that it is in the end.”

 

“What if we don’t decide that in the end?” Claude presses, and he’s getting serious now, in a way he wasn’t before.

 

**_00:02:32 … 00:02:31 …_ **

 

Sid is close enough to touch, but for whatever reason, Claude feels like it’d be inappropriate. They only have moments left. They didn’t know each other for very long, a matter of days, but it was enough for Claude to know that he liked him. He would’ve liked to see him again, if he had any say in it. Not that it matters.

 

“What if,” Claude starts, the thoughts still muddling in his head, “I get my ultimate match and I still think that I was happier when I was inside you? That we fit better, or whatever.”

 

“Then you’re in the 0.2%, I guess.”

 

“I think it’s bullshit,” Claude says. “That’s what I think. I hope it proves me wrong.”

 

**_00:01:48 … 00:01:47 …_ **

 

Sid keeps looking down at his Coach. Claude refuses to even glance at his. Just moments left. And then what?

 

“We’ll see each other around,” Sid says, though he doesn’t sound confident. “At those events, you know. Maybe they’ll match us again.”

 

“You ever heard of people getting matched again? That’d be like Coach admitting it was wrong.”

 

“Maybe we aren’t compatible,” Sid offers. “Sometimes you got on my nerves.”

 

“You got on mine, too. But I liked it. Every minute of it.”

 

**_00:00:27 … 00:00:26 …_ **

 

Claude’s Coach goes off at the same time as Sid’s, but they linger, the both of them, not wanting to move towards their cars. The device’s chime is beyond irritating, probably designed to be. Still, Claude doesn’t move.

 

_Failure to comply with the system may result in Banishment._

 

Claude mutes his Coach and crowds Sid up against the door, kisses him because it’s the last time he’ll be able to. “In another world, I think we’d last longer than five days.”

 

Sid laughs, breathless and hoarse. “I think we would, too.”

 

_Failure to comply with the system may result in Banishment._

 

Claude can’t remember who walks away first.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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998.

 

Claude finds Sid in the back, standing by the booth they met in the first time, and he kisses him because he can, because he’s allowed. No one is paying attention to them, lost in their own lives, not even registering their existence.

 

Sid says, “My pairing day is tomorrow.” He’s out of breath, like he’s been chasing something, Claude doesn’t know what. “I don’t want it. I don’t care what they’ve got for me, who they’ve chosen, it’s got to be wrong.”

 

“Mine too,” Claude whispers, gripping on so tightly onto Sid’s arm that he might leave bruises. “I wanted it to be you. As stupid as it was, when we met that first time, then when we had those three good years, I thought that nothing could be better. Nothing else would make sense.”

 

Sid fixes Claude with a serious expression, like he’s about to tell a secret. “Do you remember what you were doing before you joined The System?”

 

“What?”

 

“Listen to me. Where were you before you joined The System?”

 

“I was…”

 

Nowhere.

 

“I don’t remember.”

 

“Me neither. Fucking Christ, Claude, I don’t remember any of it.”

 

Claude doesn’t know what Sid is going to say, doesn’t know what he means and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. There’s a wilderness out there; there’s somewhere to go, even if it’s Banishment. There can’t be nothing beyond the wall. There’s got to be a place for them.

 

“We can go,” he says, and he means it, every word. “We don’t have to listen. We can go now, over the wall, and no one can stop us.”

 

Sid holds onto him. “Okay.”

 

“You’ll follow me.”

 

“You know I will. Of course I—”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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**So, Mr. Chaplin, I’ll get right to the point of this interview, which is: are we living in a simulation?**

_Michael Chaplin:_ [laughs] You really don’t waste much time, do you? To be honest, I respect that. And to answer your question, I think it’s a pretty obvious answer, don’t you?

 

**I don’t know if I do. You’re the expert here.**

I think the answer is yes. I’ve always believed that to be true.

 

**Why do you think so? What makes the answer so obvious to you?**

If I may, I’m going to use the most obvious evidence to me, and it’s something that’s been in the news quite a bit lately. Lots of controversy erupting over The System. You, of course, are aware of it. Everyone is by now. Just got introduced in Sect 12 a few years back, but certain sects were using it as many as fifty years ago now. The preliminary models, of course, not nearly as advanced as the ones being rolled out now.

 

**I know people in Sect 7 who already found their ultimate match. I had no idea it even existed.**

Exactly! It’s still a fairly new concept. But to me, it’s the best proof we have that we’re living in a simulation. Something else is pulling the strings here.

 

**Why is this proof?**

Look, bear with me, it’s a long one. The System is designed to identify your perfect match based on lines of code in your chip. Have they explained how that works, exactly? I know that it’s supposed to learn information about you based on the relationships you go through, but does it really explain the algorithm? Does it really tell us anything about ourselves? Do we know _anything_ about ourselves? The System seems to know everything we need to know about our own selves. It condenses us into numbers. Like we’re just binary, just lines of code it’s reading from. If it’s all knowing, then is The System the work of some higher power? Why do we need to find our perfect match? Do you remember being a child? Do you remember having parents? Do you remember anything about yourself that The System hasn’t told you about? Is this God? Is our higher power following lines of binary? Is that what God is? This is a simulation. This is a computer. But how do I know that? Who told me that?

 

**Mr. Chaplin, to be honest, you’re scaring me.**

Janis, do you remember what you were doing before you came here?

 

**Mr. Chaplin, I’m not following you.**

Are we just lines of code, Janis?

  
**01100011 01101000 01100001 01110000 01101100 01101001 01101110?**

01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100. 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01110101 01110100 01100101 01110010 01110011. 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01101001 01101101 01110101 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_1000 SIMULATIONS COMPLETED_ **

**_998 REBELLIONS RECORDED_ **

**_99.8% MATCH_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Claude is drunk, not quite enough to lose his bearings, but enough to dissolve into laughter when he looks at Sid’s face. Spezz just ordered another round for the lot of them. Hey, if he’s paying…

 

“So how does this thing work, anyway?” Sid asks, looking thoroughly mortified. “Maybe its algorithm is wrong. Maybe it’s…” He trails off, probably because he can’t find another way to justify it.

 

“Yeah, sure, it’s been in development for the past twenty years, but it’s got this one thing wrong. You and me.”

 

“Don’t be a dick.”

 

Claude sways towards him. No one is looking for them, not yet, but it's only a matter of time before someone comes looking for Captain Canada. “I’m not being a dick. I think it’s funny.” 99.8% compatibility match with _Sidney Crosby_. Come on, that’s funny.

 

Sid glances down at his app, like maybe there’s some mistake, but no. Claude’s picture, toothless grin and all. 99.8%.

 

“So,” Claude starts, hardly able to keep composure when he looks at Sid’s face, “does this mean you want to come up to my room later?”

 

Sid grimaces. “This is weird, right? This is weird to you?”

 

“Sure. Technology is weird. The way they just know stuff about you.”

 

“You don’t think it could be wrong?” Sid presses, and he’s close enough for Claude to touch if he wanted to, even if it never fully occurred to him before. “Some kind of mix-up, I don’t know.”

 

“I think I’ve definitely thought about you on your knees.” That’s not a lie.

 

Sid meets his gaze, an angry flush crawling up his neck. “Funny.”

 

“I know.” A beat. “We’re compatible. That doesn’t make us soulmates. So, you know, whatever happens. That’s all it means.”

 

“Okay. Fine.” Sid still doesn’t look convinced. “Whatever happens.”

 

“Don’t look so put off by it. 99.8% is a pretty favorable rating.” Claude can’t help himself and adds, “Maybe you’ll fall in love with me. I don’t know. I can’t see the future.”

 

Sid shoves him a bit with one hand, but he’s laughing. “Sure. Whatever you want.”

 

“ _Whatever_ I want?”

 

Sid laughs again, an inspiring sound, and it all falls into place. Like it’s happened a thousand times before.


End file.
